8. It's Ok To Take A Break

It doesn't mean you've failed.

Well… the week finally came where I just plain didn’t do a blog post. Last Friday came and went. It was Easter weekend and I was working on planning three big events for children, youth and families at my church and I just honestly forgot to do the blog. When I embarked on this journey of writing weekly, I worried this would happen. Thoughts ran around in my head: Could I really stick to doing this every week? I know I’ll be mad at myself if I skip or change the day I post. It’s a slippery slope, if I let myself miss one week, will I just keep missing it?

So, here I am adding a new lesson on my list because I really see it as important for me to learn and keep learning. My little perfectionist heart needs this reminder, and maybe you do too… It’s ok to take a break. It doesn’t mean I’ve fail. It doesn’t mean I can’t pick right back up and keep on going. It doesn’t make my endeavor any less honorable or important. Sometimes, we just need to take a break. And the fact that this project is so important to me, and I completely forgot, just tells you how many other things were taking up my brain space. I can give myself some grace and trust that a post on Wednesday, when I have more intention to give to my writing, is better than staying on the deadline with something maybe less thoughtful.

Often I approach life with a push through attitude. Procrastination is the name of my game in life and so I’m constantly pushing through one thing to the next. I’m often saying things like “We’re just gonna make this happen!” and, “Let’s get through this thing and then we can look beyond and work on that.” I think this approach and this ability does serve me well. And to everything, there is a shadow side. My father in law often would remark on how busy my life was. I had never fully seen it that way until he made that observation. It’s stuck with me as something I note in my life and wonder about often. I like being busy. I like being with people. I like my work. I like finding adventure time with my kids and husband. But to fit all that in does take up a lot of time. My father in law was good about just taking in life. He would sit on his porch and watch the creek flow by, the birds flying around, and the occasional deer walk through the yard. And even though he’s passed, I still hear him in my head remarking on my busyness. He gives me that encouragement to slow down sometimes and just take in the view.

Our church does an all-church summer camp every summer. I have gone every year since I was a kid. As part of the schedule for camp, there is an all-camp quiet time after lunch. I can remember laying on my bed or hanging out just counting down the minutes until I could be released so I could go swimming at the lagoon with my friends! And do you know what… my mom made me take that nap/quiet time all the way through high school. Some of my other friends were allowed to just walk around camp during that time. But me… no. I was soooooo annoyed (insert teenage eye-roll here). Quiet time was for babies and older people. I was a teenager. I didn’t need this. Finally, I think it was my senior year, I convinced my mom that I should at least be allowed to go out on the porch and journal or something.

Well, now I run the program for children and youth at our summer camp. And every year at the beginning of the week, I have a meeting with the parents of youth and I encourage them to have their teen take that quiet/rest time. The week is very full! It’s fun but it can be overwhelming - lots of people, lots of activities, long days, etc. It can just be a bit overstimulating. And somehow, even though I think much of my energy points to being an extrovert, my mom knew that I needed a forced break. I needed to take some time to re-set, re-group, re-charge. She was telling me, it’s ok to take a break. And maybe sometimes it’s not just ok, it’s needed.

It’s ok to take a break. It’s ok to send this on a Wednesday and not last Friday. And here I am, getting right back at it. Hopefully we can all take this reminder to be a little more like my father in law, Ralph. Even if it’s just for a minute, maybe we can find a moment to look outside and admire the nature around us.

Reflection Questions:

• Do you find it hard to take a break?

• What makes it challenging?

• Can you reframe what taking a break means so that it allows you to more freely take that break?

Songs:

• I Am Light - India Arie - I chose this song because I love that sort of chant nature of the “I am light” chorus. It’s that reminder that I am more than the deadlines or pressures I put on myself.

• Marvelous Light - Ellie Holcomb - I chose this with a similar sense of feeling like we have to push against those outside critics, outside expectations. It’s important to me to stay in the light and hold on to the reminder that I am good enough just as I am.

• Tides of Change (soundscape) - on playlist

• Gentle Creek Sounds (soundscape) - on playlist

Click HERE to go to the 40 Things, 40 Years Playlist featuring the songs from each blog post.

Below are some wonderful ways you might allow yourself to take a break.