I sat at a dinner table at Pilgrim Firs, a local camp out in the woods in Port Orchard, WA. Tears streamed down my face as I read a letter my late grandfather had written to his sister in her final days of life. He recounted their days as children going to the beach, playing and swimming. He recounted the friends they knew and the trips they had gone on when they were older. He named the ways they loved each other but were also very different. He told her what he admired about her and all she had accomplished in her life. And in the end he closed with “well done! well done! love to you now and forever”. I cried at the wonder of life. I cried thinking about my own children and wondering what they will think back on and how they will share their connection and love for each other in their old age. I cried at getting to “hear” my grandfather’s voice through his writing. I cried because I also felt that, though he’d written that for his dear sister, in that moment, it was almost as if he was saying it to me. It was beautiful and magical. I wiped my tears and I smiled. I sat in my emotions and just let myself feel and receive that gift.
I was able to do this because I was on a silent retreat. I was at a dinner table with two other women. But, we weren’t talking. We were each eating dinner and doing our own thing, acknowledging each other, but giving each other the space just to be. I didn’t have to explain my tears or talk. I just got to have my experience. And from there, I began to journal and in that journalling, my spirit wondered, “what if I were to write a list of 40 lessons I’ve learned or find important in my life as I approach my 40th birthday this year?” And from there, I began this list that you’re reading weekly!
If you don’t know, I’m a mom of three young kiddos (7, 5 and 2!). Our house is loud. There is a lot of singing, dancing, shouting, fighting, throwing toys, running, etc… My kids are constantly asking for my attention, Mom! I'm hungry! Mom, he called me dummy! Yeah, but that’s because she hit me! Mom! I’m hungry! Mom! I didn’t want this for dinner! Mom! I’m still hungry! Mom! Mom! ….. It’s a lot! I can never even hear myself think! So, a silent retreat where no one needed anything from me and I could just follow my thoughts wherever they wanted to go… magic.
One of my favorite bible verses is 1 Kings 19: 9-13. It tells story of the prophet Elijah. In this story, Elijah became afraid for his life and he fled to the wilderness and sought refuge in a cave.
While Elijah was hiding in the cave, he encountered a powerful wind that tore apart the mountains and shattered rocks. This was followed by an earthquake and then a fire. However, the text emphasizes that God was not in any of these dramatic displays of nature. After these tumultuous events, Elijah experienced a "still small voice" or a "gentle whisper," depending on the translation. This quiet voice spoke to Elijah, asking him why he was hiding in the cave. Elijah responded, expressing his fear and feelings of inadequacy. In response, God reassured Elijah, giving him guidance and encouragement to continue his prophetic mission.
I love this idea that God's presence and communication can be found in moments of quietness, humility, and intimacy, rather than in grandiose or spectacular events. The story reminds me of the importance of listening attentively to the subtle invitations of, what I might call, the divine (other’s may call it intuition or our hearts desire) even amidst the chaos and challenges of life. When we are quiet, we can hear ourselves think and if we are open to it, we can receive the messages from the deepest part of our hearts.
A few years ago I listened to an episode of a podcast that I think about often. It was about a man whose life’s work has been about the search for the quietest places in the world. Gordon Hempton has found one square inch of true silence. It is in the Hoh Rainforest in the Olympic National Park; which is one of my favorite places in the world. The podcast tells a bit of Gordon’s story. He’s a man whose life’s work is all about hearing and listening, and yet, he is losing his hearing. I will let you listen to it, I don’t want to give too much of his story away. Chris Morgan (The Wild Podcast’s host) and Gordon head to this one square inch in the rainforest. Chris takes time in the silence and comes out emotional, but not in a bad way. After some time alone, Chris shares what his time was like in the pure silence. Powerful.
I have been struck by the many ways we can define “noise” and the ways noise inundates us. In many ways, I like noise! I love laughter and joyous conversation! I love singing and playing and just the fun sounds of being in the world! I love the sound of waves crashing on the rocks and sand. I love listening to the birds sing in the morning. But, I do think noise can distract us. I will admit I fill my time with noise of the news, shows, music or social media. And I have to actively turn it down or off, to make myself be quiet and present in the here and now.
I have learned that it is really important to me to take time to be silent. To quiet the noise in the world so that I can listen. It takes more effort these days to find space and time to do that, but I never regret it. Elijah’s story reminds us not to get distracted by the big, flashy and loud sounds or events, but to be still, be quiet and listen for the gentle whisper - some may call it intuition or your hearts desire, other’s may call that whisper, God or Spirit. It’s open for interpretation I think.
I find that when I tune into the frequency of the divine, I break open and I am set on new paths in my life. I invite you to find a space in your day or week to set some intentional time to for silence, and just see what comes, what whispers to you and your heart?
Reflection questions
Feel free to insert whatever word feels right for you if “God” isn’t the word you use.
When have you experienced moments of chaos or turmoil in your life, similar to the wind, earthquake, and fire that Elijah encountered?
What are some ways in which you actively seek out quiet and solitude to listen for God's guidance and presence in your life?
Reflect on times when you have felt inadequate or overwhelmed by the challenges before you. How did you sense God's reassurance and encouragement during those moments?
Consider practical steps you can take to create space for quiet reflection and listening in your daily routine. What practices or disciplines might help you cultivate a greater sensitivity to God's voice?
Songs:
Spirit Speak by Austin French - I listened to this on that retreat a lot. It was my way of inviting Spirits voice speak to me and helped me open up to be ready to listen and hear.
Still Small Voice by Johan Glidden - This is just a beautiful song about the story of Elijah and God’s still small voice.
Click HERE to go to the 40 Things, 40 Years Playlist featuring the songs from each blog post. A little note about the songs I am using - often what’s out there in the way of Christian music comes from the more conservative view point. I tend to just replace words or phrases in my head when I hear the song so it fits with my progressive theology.
Video about the Quietest Square Inch:
Taking time for silence really does give a different perspective. I’m a special education teacher & I have a couple of students this year who are selectively mute. We communicate by writing & sometimes it feels so much more profound than talking. Thanks for the post, Margaret. This is a great reminder.