12. Dance & Sing
Sometimes you just gotta dance and sing it out!
This is a bonus second post for this week, since I didn’t get a chance to post it last week.
Sometimes (maybe always) stuff just lives in our bodies and one way I get that “stuff” out, is to do what I call “dance or sing it out”! Some examples…
One time when I had a big event I was running, I was feeling a bit anxious about getting everything done in time and just wanting it to go well. I had a song that was speaking to my soul at the time! I cranked it and sang it loud as I got ready for the event. It helped me move my nervous energy out and I had a lot of fun singing and dancing!
At my besties wedding we were all ready to go. Make up and hair done. We were all in our dresses. We were in the “waiting area” to stay hidden while the guests arrived. We waited for it to be time to walk down the aisle and do this wedding thing! I saw my friend (the bride) getting anxious in the waiting. I suggested we “dance it out”. It felt a little funny to offer this idea since this was supposed to be more of a serious moment. But I saw the waiting causing anxiety. My bestie said “yes” and we turned on some tunes. It gave us something to do and it gave us all a way to get nervous energy out. It’s a core memory that still stands out to me. It was fun! We laughed! We smiled! We remembered we’re still the silly friends who love each other, even though we were there to help her do this big life thing!
One time on a youth retreat, I was helping a few youth work out some differences they had. There were definite “sides” and on each side people’s feelings had been hurt, but also on each side there was ownership of their behavior. Somehow we were able to lead them through honest sharing of how they’d been hurt. They asked questions of each other to understand their perspective. They acknowledged the other’s perspective. And they took ownership. They were clear that they would do better going forward. Throughout this process, I watched body language shift, I saw smiles start to come out, until finally someone said “after this, can we have a dance party to bond!?”. It took us a few tries to find a song everyone could groove to, but we did it! And as we started dancing, I watched sides fall away, and one group form. I watched hugs happen and laughter and silliness. While I watched, I thought about how this wasn’t the first post-hard-discussion-dance-party I’ve witnessed and it wouldn’t be my last! In fact, recently a young adult reminded me of a dance party I led to the song “shake it off” to help a group “shake off” the “stuff” that had been going on.
Recently my daughter started going to dance class. The night before her first class she tried on all her dance stuff and wanted to try dancing in it. It turned into a family ballet dance moment. At first some folks resisted, but by the end everyone was into it and we were in sync. We took a bow together and then hugged. It was a special moment that came out of the simple suggestion to dance. It reminded me of being younger, alone in my house, turning on music and dancing around!
I believe music has the power to transform - in the listening, in the singing, in the playing of and in the dancing to! I have seen many times how music can set the tone, help people come together, help people express and so much more! I have so many connections to songs that have helped me express emotions, helped me heal, helped me move through things. I have core memories of witnessing groups come together to sing and dance and I’ve seen how connections deepen and community forms.
This last weekend I was leading a retreat and I got in our packed van to head home. One of the youth piped up from the back and said “Margaret, we made a pact, we’re all going to sing along, if you sing too!”. That might be my favorite sentence I've ever heard! They knew the assignment. On the way home we were gonna sing and dance (safely) and enjoy the car ride I loved their commitment to sing together.
Dancing and Singing, for me, have been such important outlets to release emotions and to help feelings move through my body. So, lesson 12 is the reminder to dance and sing! Now, to anyone reading this thinking, “I can’t dance”, “I can’t sing”. WRONG. It doesn’t need to be a choreographed situation! It doesn’t have to be in tune! I think somewhere in our lives we learn we’re not good at these things and it makes me sad. It can just be moving your body, and using your voice. And sometimes that scares people. I think that’s because it means a letting go. There’s vulnerability in that. I invite you to try to move through that hesitation and try to just let go.
So, crank up some tunes, dance like no one is watching (or maybe they’re watching, but who cares!?), sing out loud and don’t worry about it being perfect! Shake! Spin! Reach your arms up! Let your body be free! Let those emotions out! Let yourself feel and release through the music!
Reflection Questions:
What’s a song that you love listening to over and over?
What’s your go to song for a dance?
In what ways have you seen music bring people together?
Songs:
Happy (from Despicable Me 2) - Pharrell Williams - Such a classic! This is a go to for me if I need a quick dance party moment! I have great memories of this being a closing dance party at a retreat - each person gets to do a dance move and everyone does it with them! A fun way to dance and play together.
Shut Up And Dance - Walk The Moon - This was a popular song the summer of 2015, the summer I got married. It was played at the dance party that was our reception. But it also was one that so many folks were cranking and dancing to that summer! It’s a fun one!
Fireball - Pitbull - This is such a fun dance song and I forgot about it until recently. On our youth retreat last weekend, somehow this song came up and it was fun to dance and be silly about this song together.
Click HERE to go to the 40 Things, 40 Years Playlist featuring the songs from each blog post.
